Always a wonder, it seems the moments in which we feel the safest and happiest often turn out to be precursors to complete devastation. Like the happy moments are there to stand next to the horrible ones to create a deeper contrast, letting you know just how terrible things are. It’s the same with friends. If a friend is having a wretched time, expect good news for yourself. On the flipside, if she just landed a cool new job or lost 20 pounds or paid off her house, etc…then get an umbrella. The bottom is gonna drop out and there will be lightning.

I guess its all about keeping the universe in balance. Maybe there is only a certain amount of happiness that can be enjoyed in any given area, and the time we have with it is measured out carefully over our lives so that even the people who we think are happy really aren’t, because they too have their happiness measured.

So what are the measurements based on? It can’t possibly be equal among all of us, there are too many people who die never having caught a break while others seem to have stars of luck shooting out of the ends of their hair. Perhaps some would say that the amount of happiness measured out to you is in direct correlation with the happiness you generate; that is, the happiness you give to others. A nice thought, yet it too is flawed. The people who love with everything they’ve got tend to get back at least that amount in hurt. Maybe balance isn’t just the question, but the answer as well. We have to give happiness to others and accept it back from them, yet we also have to cultivate the ability to claim as our birthright a certain amount of happiness for ourselves. Demand love and happiness and make it happen. Embrace the right to selfishness. Perhaps the Keeper of the Happiness rewards those who reward themselves. Or maybe she’s a pushover and hands over more to those who demand it the loudest.
I’m going to be selfish today in honor of all of those who have not yet found it in themselves to do so….and, of course, in honor of myself. That which we have built up, let no man put asunder. We are fabulous.

I am at my friends apartment… I came to stay the night and spend tomorrow out and about shopping for furniture. Around 2 am, she got sleepy and dropped into bed. Now it’s almost 6 am and I’m blogging in her living room. I really must fix my sleep schedule. I’m on a short break from school at the moment and I have yet to find a job, so my days are generally loosely-knit. Sometimes I don’t even fall asleep until 7 or 8 am. And then I wake up again around 5 pm and feel like a total goober for wasting all that glorious sunlight.

3 Ways to Stop Wasting the Sunlight:

• Choose a bedtime and stick with it. The problem is, bedtimes are so juvenile. But so is sleeping in every day, so that’s that. Helpful Tip: Create a bedtime ritual to wind yourself down and let your body know that it is time for sleep. Take a hot bath or shower. Change into your bedclothes. Find a soothing sort of book to read until you can no longer keep your eyes open.
• Wake up at the same time every day. Anywhere from 5 am to 10 am. Doesn’t matter. 5 am is cool because you get that great misty morning air which is really refreshing. 10 am is cool simply for the fact that you don’t have to miss South Park the night before in order to make the 10 am wake up appointment.
• Make it a point to spend time outdoors every day. In the techy world we live in now, it is really easy to replace nature with flickr photos and trade people for avatars. The virtual world is meant to mimic reality, not replace it.

I think I’ll make my new sleep schedule from 11-8.  Today is going to be tough, I’ve got to last until 11 pm! I’m just going to have to fight, fight, fight to make it.

Ah, the sky is getting brighter. Good morning, world!